InsecureWriter's Support Group: Permission to not write

Last month I purposefully missed IWSG. There were a couple things I could have written, some drafts I had saved, but instead I opted to skip out.

I gotta be honest. It was refreshing.

Don't get me wrong. I love this group. Your support is amazing and motivates me to keep going. I probably would have quit writing if not for my fellow writers. I may be an introvert, but it is human nature in all of us to need some form of comradery. When we find something we love, we want to share it with others who love it too. Then during the low parts, we have friends to turn to.

But taking a break from posting here was still nice. I'm back to work at Salvation Army and I've been going at gardening full throttle. It's worn me out because I keep forgetting I'm not in my teens or twenties and acting like I am. Top it off with a family get together and a friend's dad's memorial, I had no spare gas in my tank for IWSG. There's been days I haven't bothered turning on the laptop.

I gave myself permission to relax.

That is something we always forget to do. And it doesn't help that the online world is constantly yelling at us to GO GO GO! We must keep producing and growing or else we are utter failures. Gone are the days were you took your time writing. Don't you dare put that first draft in a drawer for a few months. Get that sucker polished and published ASAP. You don't want your readers to forget you exist. I have seriously seen marketing experts say that. I've seen authors fear that if they don't produce new books regularly.

So, when this author interview popped up on my radar, the last paragraph was like a breath of fresh air.

IR: Finally, is there anything about your writing process or journey that you’d like to share with aspiring writers? EGJ: Writing is a hard career with a ton of setbacks and very few external rewards. So my advice is to be kind to yourself and celebrate every victory. So you didn’t write today because you worked at your job all day and then had to come home and deal with your kids and only had enough energy to do the Wordle and watch five minutes of Colbert? That’s ok. The writing will happen when it happens. You might have to take weeks off, months, years. And that’s ok. In the meantime your mind is your own and you can be thinking, questioning, daydreaming, observing. Juan Rulfo, who wrote what is arguably the most influential novel by a Mexican writer, was a tire salesman who spent years thinking about his novel, Pedro Páramo, before he wrote it down. So please don’t beat yourself up because of some notion that you need to write

beat yourself up because of some notion that you need to write everyday. And when something good happens, celebrate it. Don’t wait for something major. Celebrate every victory, whether you finished writing a chapter or even just did some free-writing for thirty minutes. This slowly strengthens the part of the brain that’s responsible for validating your own work without needing recognition from other people. And once you’re writing for your own pleasure, no one can stop you.

Finally, an author who is acknowledging that life is crazy and busy and sometimes you want to write, but making it happen isn't as easy as just sitting down to do it. Just because you are sitting on your ass does not mean you aren't expanding energy. Ask my software developer husband. He is just as tired at the end of the day writing computer code as he is working a physical job. Both require a person to use energy. Brain power. Physical power. Power needs an energy source and we humans only have so much in one day before we need to sleep and recharge.

I love writing and I want to do it, but I also know my limits and having lived in a state of 24/7/365 exhaustion due to Endometriosis, I am giving myself permission to let the writing happen when it will happen. Sure I may never make 6 figures as an author that way, but what good is all that money when you feel chained to your computer?

Hm, I feel like I got a little ranty here, but I have legit heard experts warn authors that their loyal readers will forget them if they don't constantly publish new books as well as heard other authors expressing this fear. I told my husband that and he was baffled and was able to cite authors he had been waiting on years for new books from. George R.R. Martin anyone? How many people are asking him to finish Game of Thrones after how many years?

I think this is just a fear tactic that needs to stop as it's probably doing more damage than good.

Today's post was part of the Insecure Writer's Support Group.

Created by the ninja captain, Alex J. Cavanaugh, it's a group for writers struggling with writing insecurity (AKA all of us) to gather and discuss their fears or to celebrate writing victories. If you are a struggling writer or need encouragement and friendship, join us. (Someone might have cookies!)

Remember to visit the co-hosts and give them a shout-out for helping. JS Pailly, Rebecca Douglass, Pat Garcia, Louise-Fundy Blue, and Natalie Aguirre!

Comments

Madeline Mora-Summonte said…

It's been a looooong time since I've been in my teens/twenties, and I still forget that sometimes. :)

Enjoy your summer - whatever that looks like for you!

July 3, 2024 at 9:18 AM

Natalie Aguirre said…

Taking a break and slowing down when you get too busy is important. I'm older too and get too tired when I get too busy too. I really think the author's advice you shared with us is so true.

July 3, 2024 at 12:31 PM