Insecure Writer's Support Group: FOMO
Decided to keep all IWSG posts here instead of Substack. You know me, I'm wishy-washy and change my mind like I change my socks.
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February 7 question:
What turns you off when visiting an author's website/blog? Lack of information? A drone of negativity? Little mention of author's books? Constant mention of books?
Too much clutter and bad design. Please make things easy to navigate and read, and for the love of all that is holy, do not use white text on a black background. That burns my eyes. (I'm not kidding. I can't read it because it causes discomfort.)
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I'm back to the anniversary of my surgery. This is probably going to be something I write about on the date of because of how much it affected my life. While the physical pain is gone, there is still a bit of mental anguish lingering. One of those is FOMO.
Fear of missing out.
Now that I'm pain free, it's hard for me not to feel a pressure to catch up. To not miss out on getting stuff done because the pain is gone. All I have is some lingering fatigue that is probably linked to the fact I'm still on birth control.
(Endometriosis doesn't get cured by having a hysterectomy. The inherit problem of Endo is it's the lining growing outside the uterus. So, while having the surgery vastly helped--my guts were coated in the stuff and needed a good scrubbing--but I'm not cured. What the birth control is doing now is just flat lining my hormones so estrogen isn't triggering the Endo to regrow. It sucks as I was looking forward to not being on any medications. But I'm also lucky to have signs it was regrowing. Most women don't have that. They have to hope it doesn't grow back.)
I'm terrified of going back to that life of pain, and that leaves me desperate to get shit done while I can. Who knows what tomorrow may bring. I may be able to jump out of bed and seize the day or what if the pain comes back? And it's worse.
It's a hard fear to battle.
I try to take deep breaths and remind myself it took 10 years to get to that level of pain. It won't happen over night. My uterus isn't gonna grow back. I got my prescription to keep things in check.
But that FOMO lingers. It's like an ugly cloud hanging over me, threatening to unleash a storm that I'm uncertain if I'll survive a second time. (Which is another fear to battle.)
Today's post was part of the Insecure Writer's Support Group.
Created by the ninja captain, Alex J. Cavanaugh, it's a group for writers struggling with writing insecurity (AKA all of us) to gather and discuss their fears or to celebrate writing victories. If you are a struggling writer or need encouragement and friendship, join us. (Someone might have cookies!)
Remember to visit the co-hosts and give them a shout-out for helping. Janet Alcorn, SE White, Victoria Marie Lees, and Cathrina Constantine!
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PS: I have a new book up for pre-order. A Quick Test is a collection of 200-word stories about aliens, outer space, science, and conspiracy theories. You can get it today for 99cents. I'm also looking for help spreading the word for the week of April 8th. Thanks. <3
Comments
I'm glad you're pain-free. I sincerely hope it stays that way. <3
Balancing Act
Having a major surgery like that really changes your life - I see it in my wife every day. It seems like you're in a much better place now, so enjoy it as best you can. The fear will fade over time.
@MJ, red on black is a crime against humanity
@Yvonne, me too!
@HR, there's usually a way to do that in the browser, but sometimes it's missing. Like, I don't see it for my blog here.
@Samantha, thank you
@CD, it's slightly grey text on dark grey background. TOTALLY DIFFERENT! =P LOL
@Sendoria, thank you, thank you.
Glad you're pain-free now and I hope you stay that way. I hate how little the medical profession knows about endometriosis and how few good options there are for treating it.
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